We usually talk about the rat race in terms of business or the crazy, money-making world out there.
But gollygeewhittakers [or is it willakers?], it actually really frustratingly (adverb attack was annoyingly deliberate; I'm feeling off tonite) creeps into the realm of motherhood. AND I HATE IT.
I know in my heart of hearts that motherhood is not a good place to be playing comparison games, but sheesh. Try telling that to my brain.
And then summer adds a whole new dimension, because now children are home! Now is when you really show your momma stuff! (Maybe summer is a good time to avoid reading others' blogs. When you sleep half your day away, you're not going to be able to pull off much of that Fun Momma Stuff. Meh.)
I have to keep reminding myself that there is more to my mothering than just how Fun I may (or may not) be. And I'm not knocking Fun, either. I just need to figure out how not to care so much about what I can't do (or even just what I'm not doing) and just let myself be me and let our life be what it is. To figure out what for me, for us, is good (best?) and right.
As I talked to a friend about this today, a thought I had is that learning to discern what is right for your particular situation is a key part of the journey. And trying to sort through that in the role of mother is some serious soul work.
Just more evidence that motherhood isn't just about the growth of the children.
Whew.
˙ʍou uǝbʎxo ןɐnʇıɹıds ǝɯos ɟןǝsʎɯ buıʌıb :ʇdıɹɔsʇsod*
I've always felt that it's the emotional and spiritual connection with my children that counts, and there are as many ways to make that happen as there are moms and kids, thank goodness.
ReplyDeleteI can't even go outside in the sun during the day, so I really was not able to spend a lot of the usual kinds of "fun" time with my kids. But we did find our ways, as I'm sure you do...and will.
=)
I can get up in the morning (knock wood) and I can go outside in the sun (although in the Vegas sun, no one really wants to for long) but I am NOT a fun mom. I'm just too much of a homebody, I guess. I have a friend who is a fun mom, a very fun mom, even though she has a special needs child in her family of five kids and sometimes reading her blog is downright depressing--because she manages great funness even amidst therapy, hospital visits, and a lot of other problems that aren't even on my plate--I have to just give myself lectures that the children I have need the mom I am. Yes, I need to challenge myself and grow and develop into who the Lord wants me to be, but He sent me my kids because they need ME, not someone else who might be more fun (even if that's what they say on occasion). Receiving bits of revelation that lead me to those connections with my children are truly golden.
ReplyDeleteI thought summer was supposed to be somewhat boring. That way kids want to go back to school.
ReplyDeleteMichelle, I know what you mean. The rat race of motherhood. While I am in good health, I don't have the money or time that it appears many mothers do. Especially when it comes to crafts. Crafts are my nemesis. I try and stay away from paper as much as possible because, strangely, I am terrified of paper cuts. Although, it's not just paper. I don't like sewing or decorating or any of that stuff. Seriously, this puts me at a weird place.
ReplyDeleteAnyway. I want you to know that I think you are a fabulous mom. It isn't about the crafts or the fun, its about the teaching and the learning. Its about the love. And, by golly, you love your little girls.