"We are here to mess up!"

I'm not always a fan of Mondays. I really, really love Sundays and sometimes it's hard for me to get back into the routine.

But today was good. After my usual late sleep, I got up and got the kiddos. I helped #3 with homework and then went on a date with her (my new Monday tradition, I hope). We just ran errands and got her a cheap treat (required for dates -- both the cheap part and the treat part).

I made Mexican food for a belated Cinco de Mayo something-or-another (this included my first attempt at homemade guacamole. Yum.)

And then it was Family Home Evening. I wasn't sure what we were going to do, but as is often the case, things unfolded in a beautiful way. #1 was asked to share some of his Duty to God goals. And then I had the thought to ask #3 to share what she learned from her research earlier in the day, which was about antioxidants and how eating a fruit or veggie in each meal (and each snack) can help prevent free radicals from forming (free radicals are formed when we eat fats AND carbs).

Anyway, she looked a little puzzled as to what this had to do with a spiritual lesson, but there was a parallel that hubby and I had noticed earlier in the evening as we talked about the article she had read. According to this research, it's better to eat one fruit or veggie at each meal. The benefits of doing a little in a consistent way seem better than cramming a bunch of fruits and veggies into one sitting.

It brought to mind what Elder Bednar talked about in the 2011 BYU Women's Conference. I wasn't there, but read this article that summed it up.

“I believe many, if not all, of the most satisfying and memorable accomplishments in our homes, in the Church, in our jobs and professions and in our communities will be the product of this important spiritual pattern — of small and simple things,” Elder Bednar said. “We should find great comfort in the fact that ordinary people who faithfully, diligently and consistently do simple things that are right before God will bring forth extraordinary results.” ...

“The spiritual pattern of small and simple things bringing forth great things produces firmness and steadfastness, deepening devotion and more complete conversion to the Lord Jesus Christ and His gospel,” he said. “As you and I become increasingly steadfast and immovable, we are less prone to zealous and exaggerated spurts of spirituality followed by extended periods of slackness.”

We read Alma 37:6-7, too.

#3 curled up next to me and started to cry. She was feeling bad that she hasn't done so well on her prayer and scripture study. (She's 9.) We encouraged her and told her that God knows that we need help remembering. That's why we have family night, and scripture study, and church meetings and the sacrament, and....

#2 jumped in as we talked about how we are all imperfect in her classic, upbeat, quick and clever way. She stood up and raised her hands above her head as she yelled, "We are here to mess up!"

Yes, I am a blessed momma.

p.s. We had fun tracking the Thanks a Million, Mom ecard to see if it really would make it to a million. It did, after everyone else was asleep.

Mother's Day

Well, at least I'm writing a bit on holidays.... (So much for my noble intentions for writing more here about my life.)

I love being a mom. I love it more and more as each month and year passes. I think that is because I'm growing into this role more and more (I hope I am, at least) and also because I realize more and more how quickly they really DO grow up. It's killing me, actually, to think about it. I wish I could go back and mother my little ones with what I feel I know now, and I worry that it'll be like my LDS mission...where I finally felt like I knew how to be a good missionary when my mission was over.

My alarm clock yesterday was my 9-year-old curling up in bed next to me. Quickly behind her was her brother and sister, with gifts in hand. #3 had covered my computer desk with notes and coupons. I will have to take a picture. She is my notes girl. I think that is her language of love.

This is the ecard I selected for my own momma. I made a list of some of the reasons I am grateful for her.

A Million Thanks

(By the way, I'm letting it run to see if it really does go up to a million. But yes, I turned the sound off!) ;)

Mother's Day content abounds, but here are a couple of favorites:

The Influence of Mothers

Happy Easter!

All of my wonderful plans to help us all prepare for Easter pretty much fell through the cracks. (What a week. What a month.)

And all our wonderful plans to celebrate Easter with my fam fell through the cracks Saturday night around 9:30 when our daughter was diagnosed with strep.

It is now 1:30 a.m. (did you know I have a sleep disorder? (that's the simplified explanation)) and I have no idea what we will eat to celebrate the day (because, you know, I wasn't planning on cooking). It may be chicken nuggets. We do have eight pounds of yummy-smelling strawberries for the fruit parfait thing that I was going to make for the extended family event. (But my children don't like pudding so we'll have to do our own something here.)

But, you know, we'll still be together as our own little fam, and that is good.

Hope your Easter is wonderful!

p.s. See my other blog for my favorite Easter hymn, and another interesting little video.
p.s.s. I also share memories of a very special Easter at Mormon Women: Who We Are today.

Spring Break! And pre-Easter wonderfulness....

It's spring break around here, but you wouldn't know by the weather. We had snow all day. It looks like next week will be better.

I was able to bring in the Easter season in an amazing way, though. Hubby and I saw a performance of Rob Gardner's Lamb of God. Amazing. I left in tears and the lump in my throat lingered for a while. It was really powerful. And also great because I got to support my dad, who sang in the choir. Someday I hope to be able to participate myself. I miss singing.

Here are some videos that can give you a glimpse. But I'll tell you, there is nothing like hearing music like this live. The choir was at least double the usual 60, and the acoustics were amazing. And I don't know that I've ever heard such angelic sopranos.

Close to the surface

Had an amazing evening Thursday. Don't have time to explain much, but I talked to a couple of women after a dinner/speaker meeting I attended. One was a mom of seven and the other was a mom of five. A mom of eight came up a few minutes later.

We were talking about what a blessing it is to have children, to be mothers. I was so grateful to feel of their spirits and their faith.

And I shared with them, as is not uncommon for me, about how we have wanted more children but haven't been able to because of my health. (I don't feel like there is any benefit in holding that close to my chest -- I think we can benefit from sharing a little of our hearts and lives as women, and I also want people to know where my heart is on this. It pre-empts the comments like "Oh, yes, three is the new six.")

I still am mourning that reality. Tears were welling in my eyes as we talked. They were so kind and gentle and encouraging and I'm grateful. It's wonderful to me that perfect strangers can be such good sisters in a moment like that.

It's hard to have that ache and not be able to fill it.

I know it's not the same as infertility. I know I'm incredibly blessed to have the three I have. But that doesn't take away the reality of the longing I still feel.

I take comfort in this comment from Sister Beck. (Again, I know my situation is not the same as those couples who are infertile or those women who aren't yet married and have a double-whammy ache in their hearts. But this still helps my sometimes-aching heart.)

I know of many couples who desire to have children and aren’t given that blessing. Their challenge is the challenge of not having children, and we need to be listening and supportive and encouraging toward them. And I also believe that the desire to have children in the single sisters and in these couples probably won’t go away if they’re righteous, because that is a God-given desire. It speaks to their very natures and the training they received in the heavens. So that longing will not go away. But the Lord will bless them.

Coming up for air...

...but only for a moment.

This was my Friday:

Up at 12:15 (for those who don't know, I have chronic fatigue and insomnia -- not a good combination! I compensate (read: survive) by sleeping until lunchtime or later).

Appointment at 1:00 p.m. (I have an awesome therapist who's helped me deal with said health issues. Seriously, she's been an angel in my life.)

Return shirt at Costco on the way home. Do errands at Costco. Stand in line to cash rebate check. Give up on cashing rebate check because line was too long.

Drop off Costco schtuff at home. Talk to neighbor while doing so, who called to say she would pick up the children. During conversation, we realize that it's better for me to do so, so I scramble to do so.

Appointment at 4:00. Foot doc this time, with #3. (We were late. Note to self: Don't set appointments so close to after-school time.)

Run into grocery store on the way home to pick up dressing for salad for high priest group dinner.

Veg for 10 minutes (which was 10 minutes too long) watching what the kids were watching to take a breath before the dinner.

Make dinner for the kidlets, make salad for our dinner. Run to dinner. Have a great time at dinner. Get call from #3 at dinner to get us to skedaddle home for piano recital.

8:00 recital.

8:45 get children to bed.

Whew.

Last nite, we had a busy day, but then just hung out at home together, which was lovely. Tonite, it was Grandma's. And tomorrow should be fairly 'normal.' But then it'll be back to really busy this week.

So...here we go!

Extracurricular Activities

Tonite, the chillens had a piano recital. Short and sweet, just like I like 'em. But I am proud of how they are progressing. It was fun to watch them play. I was especially happy to see how well #3 did. She's been a bit stressed about piano lately, and I thought she hit the ball out of the park tonite.

I am of the opinion that extra-curriculars need to be carefully monitored and controlled so as not to take over too much of our family's life. Piano, however, is for us a required thing. We both feel strongly that having some musical training can enrich one's life and also enable one to be able to serve others. I also just know too many people who regret quitting piano when they were young.

Of course, if we felt inspired to do something differently, we would, but that is currently our modus operandus.

Not long ago, I asked our Young Men leader about advice he would give to the parents of youth. His response interested me. He said he wished more parents understood that sports or other extracurricular activities have taken over so much of the young men's time than many don't participate fully in the youth programs. And then he said something that has really stuck with me, which is that spiritual growth that can come from the Church's programs can't be found in the same way through sports or other activities. Yes, discipline can be learned, but there are things that can be missed.

I also think about the counsel from Mormon Church leaders on these things. For example, consider this from Elder Oaks:

The amount of children-and-parent time absorbed in the good activities of private lessons, team sports, and other school and club activities also needs to be carefully regulated. Otherwise, children will be overscheduled, and parents will be frazzled and frustrated. Parents should act to preserve time for family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, and the other precious togetherness and individual one-on-one time that binds a family together and fixes children’s values on things of eternal worth. Parents should teach gospel priorities through what they do with their children.
Family experts have warned against what they call “the overscheduling of children.” In the last generation children are far busier and families spend far less time together. [See the full talk, "Good, Better, Best" for some sobering statistics]

The flip side of this is that there are statistics that say that teens who are involved with extracurricular activities have higher levels of self-esteem. And I can speak from personal experience that being involved in sports in junior high was something that helped me through a very difficult time in my life. I don't want to swing too far to the conservative side of things and have my children miss out on some important opportunities or experiences. I really think that ultimately inspiration from God is the answer, but I'm always interested in others' thoughts on topics like this.

So, what say ye? How do you find the balance between giving children opportunities and keeping priorities and family life intact?